The Old Me vs. The New Me

Stuck In A Rut

Recently I’ve been in a bit of a funk, a low point, if you will. It’s nothing like I usually get to, as in it’s not super bad, but it’s had me scratching my head wondering what the hell is going on. Was it COVID? Was it all the lockdowns we endured here in Melbourne? So many what if’s and maybes. It was doing my head in, honestly. And then it came to me the other day when I was talking to a mentor; I’m not the same person I used to be anymore.

I keep comparing the person I am today with the person I was back in May of 2016. Or even the person I was in September of 2017 when I finished up working with VentraIP Australia. I keep trying to compare work output and relationships, telling myself I’m just lazy. Anyone who knows me knows that my sitting still and not doing something is pretty out of the normal scope for me.

Many life-changing events have happened since that day, way too many to chronicle here. I realised that I’m not that person anymore and more than likely may never be that person again. The Craig of 2016 was less sure of himself, didn’t see the value he brought to the table and was somebody who worked long hours. I would often put the needs of others well and truly in front of my own. I didn’t give a toss about my health; I’m way overweight again at the moment. I couldn’t hold a conversation with a group of people, and I was always Anxious about that speaking.

The new Craig now has a much better understanding of who he is and what he can bring to the world. I care about my health and taking steps to correct it. I will more than happily talk anybody’s ear off about my passions, mental health being the primary one. I can speak in a roomful of people, and while I still battle my anxiety, I don’t let it win.

I will be celebrating my 40th year on this big blue rock of ours on June 21st this year, and it’s made me realise that I don’t want to get to 60 and regret the next 20 years of my life. It’s a far cry from the young, frightened boy who was desperately trying to end his life back in his 20’s.

Maybe you are doing the same thing as well, comparing an older version of yourself with a newer version? The problem is the older version of us, hasn’t gone through anything the current version has. So it is possible that we are going to be at a distinct disadvantage when comparing those two personas. Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.

Something interesting that I wanted to talk with people about is the Gallup CliftonStrengths Assessment / Questionnaire as I often marvel at it.

Gallup CliftonStrengths

When I did my speaking Bootcamp in February of 2019, as part of that, we got to do the Gallup Clifton Strengths questionnaire. It helps to show us where we are the best and areas for improvement; I guess you would say.

In my top 10 strengths, I got three themes in the Executing Category, No themes in the Influencing Category, one theme in Relationship Building and six themes in the Strategic Thinking category. When it comes to Strategic Thinking, I score very strong.

It’s incredible just how accurate that test was, however. I wouldn’t disagree with a single thing; it’s pointed out as my Top 10 strengths. Just in case anybody is interested in my Top 5 strengths:

  1. Strategic (Strategic Thinking) – People exceptionally talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
  2. Achiever (Executing) – People exceptionally talented in the Achiever theme work hard and possess a great deal of stamina. They take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive.
  3. Relator (Relationship Building) – People exceptionally talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.
  4. Intellection (Strategic Thinking) – People exceptionally talented in the Intellection theme are characterised by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.
  5. Input (Strategic Thinking) – People exceptionally talented in the Input theme have a need to collect and archive. They may accumulate information, ideas, artefacts or even relationships.

If you have never done the assessment before, and you are able to work I think you would find it to be a very interesting report to read. Heck, even if you’re not working it could open some doors for you that you never really looked into before.